The minute a baby is born, we become obsessed with their growth. I remember, when I got pregnant, my husband and I had both downloaded different apps in our phones to keep track of the journey which as soon as the baby was out turned into a daily reminder of the newborn’s developmental milestones – when we could expect to see him smile, when he would start to babble, when he would turn his neck or sit, stand or walk.
These are definitely important developments that need to be closely monitored, but when a baby is born, so is a mother, except, we simply forget about it. A quiet transformation happens within the woman who brings the baby into this world – subtle, monumental changes, which help her grow from the person she was earlier to a completely new being, most of the times into someone, she herself doesn’t recognize. These milestones are different for everybody, with no fixed timeline but what’s important is, that we acknowledge the growth that happens, support and celebrate the baby steps the mother, the woman takes into this new world:
- The first steps you take after childbirth.
- The day when the stitches finally heal.
- That first time you will get up and finally walk around without any pain.
- The moment you will fall in love with your baby – it may happen on day one or take several days, weeks, may be months. And it is all okay.
- The first time you will have sex after having a baby.
- The first time you will have sex after birthing that is actually going to be pleasurable for you.
- That first time you will spend time away from your baby (even if it is a short grocery run).
- That first time you will spend time away from your baby without feeling guilty (you won’t be able to stop thinking about them, though)
- The day you will finally stop wearing nursing bras…or maternity clothes
- That first time you will take an uninterrupted shower; or dump. (Just kidding, that day will never come!)
- That first relaxed phone call in a long long time with your best friend whom you never really forgot but also never got the time to speak to.
- That first conversation you will have with someone that does not involve talking about your child
- That day that you will step into a workspace again, excited, unsure but grateful.
- That day when you will finally be able to step into your workspace and not feel guilty.
- The first time you will look at yourself in the mirror and feel beautiful again.
- That day, when you will finally understand your own mother, a little better. And also start seeing all mothers, as the women they are, the women they could’ve been, the women they couldn’t be.
- That moment when you will realize, you, as a mother, are doing enough, are enough, for your child.
- The moment, when you will finally realize, that despite your absolute love for your child, you are, more than just a mother.
And you will be OK to accept your wonderful, weird, whole self.
Would you like to share any more milestones?