A Simple Way To Be More Considerate


I am not good with people. There. I said it! I do not like meeting anyone new, I avoid going to parties or if have to attend try to find a nice silent corner for myself, I have no idea what to talk about when I meet someone new, I despise speaking on phone (except my husband and best friend) and would usually be found hanging only with people I know and am comfortable with.

No doubt, I come across as cold. As I have been told bazillion times by my friends, "When we first met you we thought you were so arrogant, but you are so much nicer." I tell them I hope I'm not proud, I am just shy and clueless around people.

So I had to find a way to get over this little personality issue of mine, because it is not something you want to carry on as an adult, especially in my life where I have to keep meeting a lot of new people personally and professionally and people skills have to be on the line and also, it is nice in general to make people feel nice.

I started with observing people who I felt being good around, who felt so warm and welcoming in approach and this is what I have learnt - Considerate people ask questions.

Let us say you have guests visiting you from another city. When you meet them, in addition to the hellos, ask them - How was their journey, did they face any problem, is their room comfortable, do they need anything else?

Ask them, are they liking this place? Is there some place specific they would want to visit?

If they have kids (I'm reallllly bad at this one) - What are their names? How old are they? Do they go to school? etc. (Note: People, no matter how cranky themselves, love to talk about their children)

That simple it is. If you are an introvert like me, you wouldn't even have to talk much; you just ask people questions and let them do the talking.

Simple, isn't it?