Being Married : First Impressions



It's our Anniversary week!! And to celebrate it, the Soldier and I decided to do some couple posts (or rather, I decided and dragged him to participate :P). Here's our first post, about our first impressions about various things getting and being married entails. Hope you enjoy reading it!!


Our first meeting

Mrs: Even though we knew each other through my sister, we met for the first time at home – with everyone. And it was super awkward. I didn’t speak the whole time he was around. Oh, and it was Christmas! When he reached my home, I was listening to a funny Govinda song to calm my nerves. It did help!

Mr: It was a typical Christmas Day- 25 Dec 2015. I was just hoping that it wouldn’t be another trip to singing ‘Last Christmas’!! But I was clueless that I was soon to be bedazzled by this lady, who would hold me captive of her charms for eternity.


Each other

MrsOh, he was all goody goody well behaved bachcha types. If only I had known what a devil
he is!

Mr: Honestly, before she entered the room, I could hear her footsteps :P She was treading comfortably like an early warning system on two feet (I guess I’ll have to continue cooking for next two weeks when she reads about this one :P) However, once I saw her my reaction was like- ‘Oh k! So she’s going to be the lucky one!’ Little did I guess that it would be the other way around within one year.  

Mrs: Yes, you'll be cooking for the next two weeks. And what do you mean 'continue'??"


Families

Mr: Before we met, I had known her elder sister for around 10 years!! (Can you believe it!!) And till date I wonder what wrong did I do to her that she treated me this way :P Jokes apart, I’m glad that I’d known her sister for so long, enabling our matrimony. The family in general was totally chilled out. In fact I had already spent a day with her dad in Guwahati. And I’m sure that the Almighty won’t bring anyone into such a situation, wherein you’re aware that you are being constantly judged and your every step is being evaluated, for better part of the day!! Gosh!! Sunday and no beer??!! Are you kidding??!! Sacrifices even before getting married :P Mataji seemed to be typical mom. Caring and loving types. But I’m yet to get pampered by amazing cooking of my sasuma.

Mrs: I met his mom and aunt first and they were supercool. My mother-in-law is more chilled out than my own mother. It's a fun equation.


First Date

Mrs: We went out alone to ‘get to know each other better’. And the first topic of discussion was different types of alcohol and why they are good for health! On an ordinary day, I would’ve run away from a man like that, but that day I stayed, and listened. I didn’t talk that day as well. I think that was also the last day he got to talk that much. I haven’t stopped talking since :P

We were supposed to be out for a couple of hours, instead we were out together for a good 11 hours!

Mr: On our first official date (30 Dec 2015) she wore a sweater- a green & black striped one and denims. I took her to my favorite place in the city- the sit out at JW Marriott.

Mrs: I think we went on many 'pseudo-dates' before that no? What? 'Getting to know each other' is not counted as a date??


First Song

Mrs: The first song he sang for me was ‘Hero’ by Enrique Iglesias. (If you don’t count the song ‘Just the Way you are’ by Bruno Mars that he sent to my sister’s whatsapp ‘by mistake’ :P)

I also got to know later that he has played that song for every girl he’s wanted to impress (Hmmph!)

Mr: She recreated the magic of Vicki Peterson by singing ‘Eternal Flame’.  

Mrs: It's so difficult being married to a music aficionado. Everywhere I go. I'm asked to sing, just because my husband sings well! And to say that I've never ever sung before in my life - except may be school prayer and the National Anthem!


Wedding: 

Mrs: We both were very clear that we wanted to get married at a temple, and we wanted to have a daytime wedding. In fact, we wanted to elope with our families and get married just because it's so much more fun than traditional wedding ceremonies! It was a mammoth task to convince my family for the same as Rajputs have night weddings and small ceremony is looked down upon. But we did finally manage to find a middle ground. We did have a morning weddinge, in a beautiful Radha Krishna temple we both had discovered on one of our evenings out. And though not perfect, it was memorable. 

Oh, and did I tell you he arrived on a Bullet and not a stupid ghodi? That was SO cool!

Mr: I always dreamt of a 'destination wedding' and even she shared similar ideas (lucky me). Alas! Making parents understand in such a situation is really an arduous task. Nevertheless, parents did agree for a small wedding in a Mandir. And as the destiny would have planned it, we got married in a Mandir bang opposite of my training wing! Never ever had I even dreamt during my training days that this Mandir would one day induce a phase shift in my life!! And I hardly remember anything about the wedding, apart from the part where my entry was on a Bullet rather than a typical 'ghodi' (I'm an ardent animal lover and wanted to spare the poor animal of some back breaking experiences :P)

First movie together:

MrCan’t beat this one!! It was ‘Avengers: The Age of Ultron’. It was released when we were on our honeymoon. In one sequence during the movie, when the mighty Thor takes off, she started laughing out so loud, I was thinking to myself- what the__??!!!

Mrs: It was Avengers. It was also the first time I was watching an Avengers movie (spoiler alert: I'm not a comic book movie fan!). He had booked us those cushy recliner seats, the hall was empty as there was an earthquake just two days ago and I didn't know the story a bit. Initially I tried asking him about the characters, but within half hour of the movie, I just dozed off. When I woke up, the lights were on and I thought the movie was finally over. But when I realized it's just the intermission, I had my popcorn/cola and slept off again for rest of the movie.


First posting together

Mrs:We have been here since our marriage. And it’s amazing. We are in the unit and I understand the true meaning of when they say that Unit is like a family. The people are so warm and fun, there’s so much greenery around, no pollution, my office is a 2 minute drive away and on a clear day, I can see snow mountains! So I’m living my dream life.

It’s also so overwhelming to see how much he’s loved and respected by all of his men, as well as his fellow Officers. Kids especially adore him!

Mr: In unit… when in unit, the station turns lively however bad a place it might be.. and thankfully, she developed the same thoughts throughout her interactions with various people from varied walks of life..


First Home

Mr: I had got one wall of each room coloured with some lively colours. We called it our ‘Casa Cassata’! 

Mrs: The first time he sent me the picture of what was to be our first house together, I got all emotional and showed it to everyone at my office. Even though, like every fauji house, it looked like an abandoned heritage building. The first time he sent me the picture of the house after getting it cleaned and painted, I cried – because due to some communication gap with the workers, the walls got painted all Pink, Green, Blue, Orange, etc. I mean what adult lives in a house like that! (Note: Never leave the MES alone to paint your house). After much deliberation, we decided to stick with those walls and even nicknamed our house ‘Casa Cassata’ - like the mullti-colour ice cream. After 6 months we had to shift our house as the roof was falling off and when it was time to finally leave, we cried again! However that house was, it was our first house with so many memories. We just didn’t want to leave!


Living as a married couple

Mrs:It’s superfun! It’s like living with your best friend with no parents around :P You can eat what you want, sleep when you want, as long as you want :P My cupboard is a mess since weeks and no one to scold me :P I also feel so fortunate to be able to stay with him now unlike many military couples. Even though he’s always so busy, we do try to spend as much time as possible together, sometimes doing nothing. Sometimes we spend nights jamming on the guitar and singing at the top of our voices, not bothering about the neighbours.

Mr: Pass…. Never catch the bull by its horns… have learned it the harder way :P

Mrs: What do you mean??? (Grrr...)


First meal he / she cooked for you

Mrs: I think he made Pasta in white sauce. Or Maharashtrian style egg bhurji.

Mr: Suji ka halwa.. I don’t remember her cooking anything after that :P

Mrs: Such a liar! I'm not cooking anything tonight!!


One word that sums up your spouse

Mrs:Larger than life. The light of my life :)

Mr: My wife- the love of my life.. for all that she was, she is & she ever will be…..



One word that sums your marriage

Mrs: F.U.N!

Mr: Happily imperfect perfection!!



(Mrs: Ok, I'll cook the dinner tonight)



Wife in the Army : Yashika


Hello ladies!
 
I’m so excited to bring to you the third in the interview series Wife in the Army. Today we’ll be getting to know my adorable friend Yashika who talks about her Bollywoodsy love story with her hunk in uniform, the tough times of military separation, a graceful way to manage multiple social events and puts some sense into us cribbing wives as to why a peace posting, no matter how busy, is still better than field postings.






How did Army happen to you?
Army happened to me at the most unexpected time of my life with the most unexpected person. Yes, our story is quite dramatic. We met at a wedding where we fought over 'joota chupai' rasam after which we hated each other - God knows when this takraar turned into ikraar and now here we are loving and living happily.

What was your welcome prank?
There was no welcome prank for me - Yes, I missed this fun as we were posted at such place where they had all senior gang. But I was given a warm welcome by them which I still cherish.
 
Describe Yashika before and after Army happened to her.
Well, before marriage I was like any other Delhi University student. Loved being casual and carefree. Before marrying an Olive Green 8 am meant 11 am to me. Yashika, after marriage has learnt punctuality. I have learnt to value togetherness. Small things in life gives me immense happiness now. I have stopped cribbing and live my present to the fullest. Making my people happy and spreading smiles around is what I look forward to. Army has made me a much better person.


 



How did marrying into the Army impact your career?
Army did impact my career but it was by my choice so NO regrets at all. I am very clear in my priorities. Army already gives you plenty of time to stay alone so I can give up anything to stay with my husband. I have recently picked up teaching and I am loving my job. I have heard and read many ladies cribbing about it. Teaching is their last choice whereas I made it my first choice when I was contemplating between various options. I happily left my corporate chair to move with my husband.

What is a regular day in your life like?
My morning starts with checking my phone- in case any loving message from husband. Yeah, that's what separation makes you do - love your phone more than any other thing. Most of the time goes into imparting education. I have been a lucky girl to have got wonderful in-laws who I find waiting for me patiently over the dinner table so that we three can have meal together. My regular day revolves a lot around my work institution, parents and my phone.


What do you love most about being an Army wife?
In these 4 years I have loved everything about being an Army wife. The fact that I have married a soldier makes me proud. I am associated with an organization which is known for its Valor, gives me immense pride. My heart still skips a beat when I see my man in uniform. In short, I am a PROUD army wife loving him and taking pride in what he is doing.





Is there anything you dislike about being an Army wife?
Army wives wearing husbands’ rank- God, so much tantrums few senior ladies have. But I have been quite lucky to have not faced any such issue till date. I would any day dislike any lady mistreating others under the tag 'junior' / 'senior'.

How do you deal with the periods of separation in the Army?
Well, I am going through one right now. I try to keep myself occupied with work but it does not help always. I show to the world I am ok when I am not. I do cry and get upset. I do feel like telling him - leave everything and come back to me. I hate being away from him. But that's pretty normal right? You get irritable when the man you love is not around you or rather cannot be around you, because I am sure even they wish to live every moment with us but they cannot. That's the nature of their profession.

And when you’re staying together, but he still doesn’t have time (because they’re always so busy with work
I have always seen him busy only so now I have got used to it. As I have mentioned earlier too, small things give me immense happiness. Peace stations at least give you a chance to sit and share your meals. It would allow me to see him every day, that's what I’m currently waiting for.

Which has been your favourite military station/posting till date and why?
Jaipur- That was my first station as an Army wife so it will always be very close to my heart but I love all the places where I have got to stay with him. If I get a chance to stay with him at some border also I am sure I will fall in love with that place too. 






How do you manage the various social engagements that come with being an Army wife?
When I know I have to do something, I prefer doing it with a smile. 

 
Do you love wearing sarees (considering we have to wear one too many)? What are your favourite ones?
Our  wardrobe has some mandatory items and saree is one of them so like most of the fauji wives I too love wearing saree.


In your opinion, what are the 5 must-have wardrobe pieces for an army wife?
    1. Your regimental saree
    2. Floral prints for garden parties
    3. Smart trousers (when jeans are not allowed, they are of great help)
    4. Almost every colour saree for any color theme which can be decided just a night before your coffee
morning
    5. Good formals for the times when you r invited for polo/ golf matches
   

What is the ONE style rule an Army wife should never forget?
Carry what you are comfortable in and yes, do not forget to wear your beautiful smile- that makes you even more gorgeous.

What are your favourite places to shop?
Jaipur station had lots and lots to explore, the list would be endless if I start writing about it.


 


How different do you think your life would be if you were married to a civilian?
l would have married the same guy, only the profession would have been different and life would have not been as adventurous as it is now.

What’s your advice to the girlfriends and new wives on living life as an Army Wife?
Be his strength and not his weakness. No matter how painful the distance is, let the love stay strong. Stand by him, support him, encourage him, miss him, wait for him but do not break down.

Do you have any message for our fellow citizens?
Army is not just about the privileges we are getting, there's much more to it.  Along with the soldier his entire family makes sacrifices. Birthdays, anniversary, important events, festivals - all are spent alone, for people who are just busy counting what benefits we are getting. Change your perspective and value what this organization is doing for you.


Thank you for the lovely interview, Yashika!

To read more fun Army Wife interview, click here and here.


What I Wore : Spring Casuals





We had our Ladies meet last Saturday with (thankfully) the dress code being 'Casuals'. Now I'm all for wearing whatever you feel like, but I personally do not feel comfortable wearing skirts/dresses and hopping onto those Gypsies in front of all the bhaiyyas. So I chose to go with my dark wash Denim and a floral blouse from Lifestyle which I tucked inside. I accessorized it with silver tribal necklace, danglers, silver metal watch, my new black pumps and a camel leather sling bag that I bought from my Jaipur trip.

Minimal makeup and a red lipstick would have completed this look perfectly, but I was getting late and just couldn't find my lipstick, so I went au naturale.

I'm sorry I do not have any pics from the event. 

And yes, I'm keeping my shoes on a tissue paper, because I took this pic on my bed :P

I'll improvise next time!

Jeans, Blouse, Earrings: Lifestyle
Neckpiece: Janpath, New Delhi
Shoes: Jabong
Sling Bag: Jaipur

Weekend Links


What are your plans for the weekend? I have a ladies meet to attend tomorrow and a puja at home. And hopefully will finally clean my wardrobe that's been overdue for more than two weeks :D

Leaving you here with links I've loved this week:


This video will be the best thing you've seen this week.

"We should stop calling feminists ‘feminists’ and just start calling people who aren’t feminist ‘sexist’." How Maisie Williams nailed it!

Lusting after this saree.

Can't wait for this sweet movie

For the family.

Do or Don't : Wearing Indian Symbols of Marriage


I wear a (quite heavy) mangalsutra. I also wear silver anklets. The only time I take them off is when I'm travelling or if they do not go with a specific party outfit. Other times I do not because what the heck! Wearing or not wearing them do not really make me feel any different about being married.

But sometimes I wonder, given that I wear western semi-formals to office on most days, anklets are not really the thing to be worn (especially with summers approaching and sandals replacing socks-shoes).

I know I won't feel guilty about not wearing them. I already rarely put sindoor and bindi and toe rings. Or any other thing I'm supposed to as a normal Indian conventional bride.

But I just feel, unsure. If that'd be really a good thing to do. Am I supposed to still follow it because I should or has some real scientific benefits, as they claim?

What do you think? Do you go all traditional? Or don't care at all? Or have found that perfect balance?

Jaipur Blue Pottery : Photo Tour


Blue pottery is a mesmerising craft of Turko-Persian origin which found its way to Jaipur thanks to Rajasthani Royalty with a keen eye for beautiful crafts.

Thankfully, this form of pottery which otherwise exists only in Turkey and Russia also finds a presence in Jaipur, India.

And if you happen to visit one of the many pottery centres in the Sanganer area of the city, be prepared to go crazy. Because....

I'll let the pictured do the talking:


Blue Pottery India

Jaipur Blue Pottery
Incredible Tiles!











My Haul