What's In a (Sur)Name?

A key question that faced me when I was getting married was whether I should change my surname after marriage.

I had also discussed this issue with my fiance and he said the decision was totally up to me.

After a lot of thinking and consulting with my married friends on various practical pros and cons, I decided to retain my maiden surname.

No ego involved, no identity issues, no feminism here but just because - it was the simpler way.

Changing/Adding surname means changing my surname on every single identity document I own, which is simply a LOT of paperwork.

I am proud of my maiden surname. It has been my identity till date. But I'm also equally proud of my new identity - it's going to be a part of the me the rest of my life.

Not changing my surname doesn't mean I love my husband less, or not sure of our marriage's longevity or too proud for my good.

In station, I am known by my husband's name only. Nobody knows my maiden surname. I sign the registers, guestbooks, etc. as Mrs. Soldier and I don't mind it a bit. On social media, I have added his surname to mine, because I liked to. But when it comes to important paperwork/applying for jobs, I use my maiden name only, as that is how all my documents like marksheets, degrees, bank accounts, etc. are.

Thankfully, I belong to a family (both sides) where such practical matters are not a matter of ego. So it makes my life simpler. Which is what the purpose was in the first place.

Because at the end of the day, it's who we are that matters, not what we are called.

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